Use your vote wisely. And then pray.

There’s only one desirable outcome to any general election at the end of 2019, but unfortunately it’s not something that any of us can vote for.

We need another hung parliament.

Preferably one that allows a little more room for mathematical manoeuvre and – critically - one in which both Boris Johnson and Jeremy Corbyn have both suffered a severe setback.

Never in modern history have both the major parties been simultaneously so unfit to govern. 

Johnson has transformed the Conservative Party into radical right-wing movement, intent on delivering Brexit come what may and winning back the votes lost to Nigel Farage’s movement.

Dominic Cummings serves as a Rasputin-like figure in the court of Tsar Boris, seemingly responsible for devious plotting and manipulation. But he is just one figure in a coterie of hardline advisers and ministers that the Prime Minister has gathered around him.

The Tories break with constitutional norms and even threaten to defy the law. They are dragging the country further and further away from the political mainstream.

Labour, meanwhile, under Jeremy Corbyn is this week revealing its true colours – even to people gullible enough to have gone along with the project so far.

The hard left is on the rampage.

It plots to abolish the deputy leader’s post in a carefully staged ambush reminiscent of the 1930s USSR. It gleefully passes motions on the conference floor calling for the abolition of private schools and the appropriation of their assets. (Even the notorious 1983 manifesto didn’t go that far and the policy apparently even makes John McDonnell queasy.)

Outside the conference centre in Brighton, police are forced to remove a large, anti-semitic banner which is proudly on display – seemingly with the tacit acceptance of the event organisers. Meanwhile, inside the hall, the battle between the so-called Lexiters and pro-EU faction rages unabated. Utter mayhem.

Neither the Conservative Party or the Labour Party should be anywhere near government at the moment. Both Johnson and Corbyn are people promoted way beyond their natural ability, floundering at the challenges they now encounter. Johnson has found himself in a role he always craved, but is only capable of disgracing it. Corbyn is in a role he never sought and is only equipped to fail.

So should we vote Lib Dem? Well, that’s a no-brainer for me, as I live in a seat which is a Lib Dem/Tory marginal. But elsewhere, it’s problematic. What if your vote for a Lib Dem inadvertently let a Boris-supporting, no-deal Brexiter reach Westminster? Or helped to boost the numbers of Corbyn’s poundstore Podemos party?

That’s why I conclude that we can only cast our ballots in good conscience and pray. Because the result the country needs isn’t going to be an option on the voting form.